A few months ago, I found myself in a conversation where I was accused of "fangirling."

It didn't sit well with me.

When I got home, I did what any reflective educator does: I did a bit of research. A quick search confirmed that "fangirling" refers to being an extremely enthusiastic female fan. But as I thought about it more, the problem became clear: the word carries a subtle, implied misogyny. To be a "fangirl" is to be labeled as overly, passionately, or perhaps even hysterically enthusiastic.

Meanwhile, our male equivalents are rarely subjected to the same linguistic minimisation. When a man spends hours dissecting a football match or celebrating a favorite sports star, he is "dedicated," "passionate," or "expert." He is rarely labeled a "fanboy" in a way that diminishes his intellect. Why is it that female enthusiasm is so often framed as deranged, while male enthusiasm is framed as devotion?

This exact double standard hit home recently during a family gathering.

The Ted Lasso Catalyst

I was at my fabulous niece’s 18th birthday party, and the conversation naturally turned to television shows. The wonderful Ted Lasso came up. For anyone who hasn’t seen it, the series follows an American football coach who moves to England to manage a soccer team. The club is owned and run by a woman who initially hopes his lack of experience will lead to absolute failure. While I’m not a massive football fan myself, the series is a beautiful, heartwarming tale built on themes of optimism, hope, and community, while also being incredibly funny.

The owner of the football club, Rebecca Welton, is played by the phenomenal Hannah Waddingham. As our party discussion progressed to how brilliant she was in the role, I chipped in. I pointed out that she is also a fabulous singer, having starred on the West End, and that she had brilliantly co-presented the Eurovision Song Contest, effortlessly flipping between multiple languages as she did so.

Apparently, this is what constitutes "fangirling."

But let’s look at what was actually happening. What sounded to others like mindless fangirling was, in reality, me recognising Hannah’s accomplishments and highlighting her immense talents and abilities to the group.

Coincidentally, doing exactly that is at the very heart of everything we strive to do at WomenEd.

Does Hannah Waddingham need me to big her up at a birthday party in Glengormley? Probably not. Will it help advance her global career in any way? I highly doubt it. But you never know the ripples a conversation like that might cause.

From Glengormley to the Staffroom

This experience made me think about our daily professional lives. How many times have we spoken up or advocated for someone closer to home—someone on whom our words can have a much more tangible, life-changing effect?

The WomenEd values of connection and community call us to empower women and to give them choices on their leadership journeys. We may not always sit at the top table of leadership just yet, or find ourselves in the ‘inner sanctum’ of our organisations, but we still possess immense agency in supporting others.

We can intentionally create ripples every single day by shifting from passive observers to active advocates. Here is how we can put that into practice:

• Notice and Name: Recognise your colleagues. Identify and explicitly name that ‘thing’ they did well or became proficient in. Let them know that you have seen them and their abilities, and then share it with others. Frame them as the expert they are: “Mrs X has had a real breakthrough with pupil Y—why don’t you have a chat with her to find out what might work for you in your class?”
  
  
• Amplify and Attribute: We need to back each other when ideas are in danger of being stolen. You know the situation: a woman makes a great suggestion in a staff meeting, and it gets largely ignored by management. Ten minutes later, someone else (usually a member of the SLT or a male colleague) rephrases it and passes it off as their own. Suddenly, the idea is roundly discussed, and the second person is thanked and congratulated.
  We need to interrupt that cycle. Speak up and say: “Yes, I agree this is a great idea—it was just as great when X mentioned it ten minutes ago!” Alternatively, amplify it the moment it's spoken: “I agree with X, I think this is a valid point worth serious consideration.”
  
  
• Interrupt the Narrative: Call out negative, unhelpful assumptions made about a colleague. When doubt is cast on a woman's capability, question the premise directly: “Why do you think they would be unable to do this when past experience shows otherwise?”

Reclaiming Our Voice

It is time for us to reclaim our enthusiasm. Let’s stop apologising for being "fans" of each other's work, talent, and dedication.

The ripples we cause at a family birthday party or during a Monday morning briefing might seem small in isolation. But when we consistently choose to advocate for one another, we aren't just "fangirling"—we are actively building the table where we all deserve to sit.

By Laura McAleer FCCT CTeach

WomenEd NI Network lead